Confidence is a moving target. When clients and/or sponsors say things like: “I am not confident”. Or, “I am losing my confidence.” Or, “They need to be more confident.” What is it that they are really looking for? Do they want to feel confident in their mind and body? Do they want others to think and feel and respond to them differently? Do they want to do something differently?
Often confidence is linked to a feeling – the collection of experiences which they “identify” with the experience of being confident. One way we describe this is as a general sense of resourcefulness. It’s like an embodied sense of “I got this”! Therefore, when confidence is absent they describe themselves as feeling uncertain, hesitant and anxious.
One of the outcome fields of confidence is how they feel and behave before, during and after some context. And, of course, others will experience and judge us through their own fields of perception. A skilful coach will explore confidence, not as a fixed quantity or an event, but as a core element of one’s way of being.
One client generated the most elegant description of what they were looking for: a settled sense of confídence which may ebb and flow, but is never absent. Mixing metaphors, they went on to describe it as a reservoir of confidence. Not only did that evoke imagery of a “store” of confidence but also posed confidence as a resource that could be released and intensified to flow where and when it was most needed.
A particular form of leader concern comes from the erosion of confidence. Often ascribed to what others have done and said or a mistake or misjudgement we have made about ourselves or others. “I used to be a good judge of people…” “Nobody used to question my decisions, now I do and so do they.”
Someone once said, “confidence is a byproduct of predictability.” When it begins to drain, by a confluence of external and internal factors, what we need is to become capable of replenishing and developing pathways to a renewed sense of resourcefulness.
So what does confidence look like for “you”? Here are some focused questions to activate your thinking: What kind of confidence are you seeking? How do you develop it? And what will it take to replenish it when it seems like it has evaporated when you needed it most? At Transcend we support leaders and coaches to develop actionable self-awareness, which then catalyses meaningful change and focused development in their clients, which ultimately leads to increased levels of confidence.
